BECOMING-SHE: A Season of Rebirthing me.
“Never limit yourself because of others’ limited imagination; never limit others because of your own limitation – Mae Jemison. This is the basis of my blog today.
In my early childhood, I considered and labelled myself a writer. However, this self-branding was often refuted and met with a lot of criticism and cynicism from my educators at the time. Despite this, the words, the thoughts, the ideas freely and fluidly spilled out of my mouth and did marathons in my mind. As is often said, the English language with the 24-letter alphabet, may not have done justice to the mind and the creatives to describe, the imaginations of the writers, the poets, the dreamers, or the authors. Notably, I had challenges with the structure in grammar, punctuations, past continuous tense, adjectives, adverbs, the commas, the nouns, verbs (all the githogus) were lacking or limited, however my mind, my mouth, my voice, never stopped verbalizing what was bursting to get out of my creative system, my innermost being. (albeit in shrubbing accent)..(yeah the aras ®, and eros (L).
The cut-throat negative feedback for a young African village girl, (also known as black beauty), who believed and fancied herself a writer (at the time l did not know vocabulary such as Author), to the demeaning look from a senior who filled your paper with red ink, implying l was not good at this, my English was not right. What one missed to see at the time was how my heart leaped with joy when I took paper and pen and let it glide ideas from my mind, they did not fathom the joy in every muscle in my body, when in my own structure of words, l had let an idea out of my system. They did not see that the passion within to write, was choking every area in my life, because we writers have ideas that burst out of our veins, not in perfect language, but ideas and stories none-the-less.
Looking back then, with a faint smile on my lips, I picture the little, pretty, chubby but shy black beauty, eagerly looking unswervingly at the eyes of her teacher, seeking approval, a pat on the back, a-you-did-well smile, or more so an added star besides my name, but only received a backlash, a heart break, a crash on the back, and with certainty says that I couldn’t write well. This were the most crushing moments in that little girl’s life. – It literally takes your life away.
However, despite all this, I thank God that I now have new valuable ways to allow my finger rhyme in dance, as they flow freely through the diverse ways with the internet. Things changed and opportunities opened. Through a “Jonah in Nineveh moment”, the passion of writing begun to grow, to get life creating opportunities as a blogger, a content developer, a motivational speaker, best-selling authors, website developer because at the end of the day, I live to determine my life path or stop it.
However, a dreamer’s dream never dies, it just lies waiting, for its opportunity to thrive. I did not study communication at the university but as went for interviews and joined several workplaces, I would naturally join the communication team and got my career path in Communications.
I am therefore thankful that during a counseling and sharing session with my friend and Pastor Njoroge, of Mavuno Church, that I allowed to breathe life to any buried dreams. Through the sessions, I heard about the The Fearless Institute 2021 Bootcamp Exposure. As it is said, one is a sum-total of the opportunities taken up. For this, I am so glad that I was able to take up the opportunity do the course and to honk my rusted passion, to clean up the cobwebs, to breath life to my passion, to have the joy of letting my mind flow and to finally be The Writer, The Author, The dreamer Janet Kalulu Ngombalu.
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Janet K. Ngombalu
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