An accountability partner is a person who coaches another person in terms of helping the other person keep a commitment (Wikipedia)
Ezekiel 33:7 “So you, son of man, I have made a watchman for the house of Israel. Whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me.
If you lived in Kenya in the past years, you are familiar with the famous “Boy’z Club” – (This came to the limelight during the last days of the Late Bob Collymore – (May God rest his soul in peace). Or often, those in the domestic front, professional setups, or in any relationship, you have heard the famous response ” am out with the boyz”/am hanging out with the Boy’z (often has the Z stress) – (my emphasis).
Within a relationship setting these words could sometimes cause a cringe to your lymph nodes, (mine is the tightening of my abdominals) depending on how many times you have heard it served back at you, when you craved otherwise, a candlelit dinner, or a cuddle while watching your best series. Additionally, In the work place the “it a Boys thing” issue has generally been used to keep off the other gender ” on matters left to men, mostly as a secret code. You will notice how men look out for each other to achieve a certain goal in the workplace.
Whichever way you relate with these words either good or bad, it is always best to stand aside and ask question – What good can come from the Boy’z Clubs? To answer this question, l sort to engage with some of the Boy’z to seek the good, the magnate, the bait, the intrigues inside the Boy’z Clubs.
Some key facts on the Boys Clubs
1. The Boy’z – As Accountability Partners.
I understood from one of my friends, that members of the “Boy’z Club” are close accountability partners, which most men require through their life’s journey. It helps to keep each other accountable on the different life choices. I also learnt that once men form a commitment of accountability to each other, that vow/accountability is kept as a bond, and men will always, keep each other in check based on the commitments made among the boys in the club. A recent Study shows; “Not having an accountable partner to help a person accomplish their goal is one reason 92% of people did not accomplish their New Year’s resolution according to a University of Scranton study.” by Dan Diamond in Forbes and an article by Dale Tyson (Wikipaedia)
2. The Boy’z – As a support system.
1 Thessalonians 5:11: Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Often, the female gender is naturally inclined to have a supportive system around them as sisters, relatives, friends, or family. However, men tend to have less of this. The Boy’z Club is often a neat and tight closed group of friends who have known each other for a very long time, more often from teenage years, and therefore keep each other as a support system over the years. (You will see most of these during weddings, bereavements, and times of need – the Boy’z always come in full support of each other).
3. The Boy’z Club – As the Brothers Keeper.
Galatians 6:2: Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
One day I sat with a group of old friends and felt isolated by the thunder breaking laughter after they each started looking at their phones. Curiously, l thought to ask what it was about. I learnt that these Boy’z had grown up in the same hood or gone to the same high school or university and had formed bonds deeper than a brother. They have been through a lot together as a boy group, hence the tight bonds that keep the men grounded.
4. The Boy’z – The Investment Partners.
If you check your husband’s/Partners, investments over the years, you may appreciate those boys he hangs out with a lot more. If in doubt look at the Board of Directors, Majority Shareholders, Executives at most private businesses and investments. The trend in past relationships or current friends may shed some light on why you were not invited to that ” golf game, the Boy’z hang out, the Boy’z trip to the Mara, but suddenly you were moving into the greener suburbs. (Thank his Boy’z).
So? What are some of the learnings we can take from the Boys clubs?
1. For you in relationships – The next time you hear these words from your partner, allow these moments – the golf games, dinner with the boys, the road trips – It could be for your own good. (Cuts you off the drama)
2. For parents of Son’s – Nurture your Son’s relationships at an early age, surround them with responsible friends in their formative years, these will be the bonds, that will see your son’s through life hurdles. Teach them to choose friends wisely while they are still young and support their friendships.
3. At the office front – Girls, let’s understand this, we will not be allowed into the Boy’z Club – so let’s quit trying. However, its often said, if you can’t beat them -join them. It is better to create your own bonds and support each other through thick and thin and achieve goals together as girls.
4. For all of us Girls – Allow the Boy’z to be, let them hang out, allow the Boy’z nights –
This war over, hanging out with the boys, we aint winning soon.
Proposed Additional Reading
- James 5:19-20
- Ephesians 4:25
- Galatians 6:2
- Hebrews 13:17-21
Author and Blogger
Janet K. Ngombalu (the Catalyst Leader)
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